What It's Really About

Have you ever had one of those evenings that just doesn't go according to the plan?  If you're like me, you let it eat away at you for a while, get really grumpy about it, and then when it's all said and done, you realize what LIFE is really about, and you get that Mommy Guilt going on.

Chad had an emergency at work tonight.
Which screwed up my plans for supper.
I made a crappy supper for the kids and me.
Hardly any of us ate it.
A neighbor girl came over and used the "bad C word" I just used above, and tried to get my daughters in trouble for repeating it.
That made grumpy, and impatient with her.
A certain 5 year old was e.m.o.t.i.o.n.a.l. tonight.
It also happened to be Kindergarten Round up.
I threatened not to go- I've been before.
I work there for goodness sakes!
But, it wasn't about me tonight- my sweet husband reminded me.
I called my sweet friend, Danielle, and begged her to bring her oldest daughter to watch G and T.  
While I sat at the table at school- still grumpy to be there- Danielle came over and we sat and talked through the whole thing.
Just what I needed.
(She also rubbed my back for a few seconds, which was also what I needed- physical touch only a friend could give.  Not in a creepy way.)
I gathered my troops, came home, gave baths.
Had an outburst at my stubborn 5 year old.
Apologized.
Read books, laid with T until he was asleep, and started thinking...
Rather than being grumpy that I had to do it on my own, I should be thankful I could spend time with my kids.  
I choose how I act.
Isn't this what I teach my kids/students?
I'm only as mad as I allow myself to be.
And I allowed myself to be miserable tonight.
So petty.
It should really be about enjoying those three precious people I get to take care of.  And I do- but, not enough tonight.
I was reading a blog last night about a single mom's daughter who was just praising and praising her mom for everything the mom did for her in her life... and how the mom never complained.
I want to be more like that.
It's going to take some work though.
That Mommy Guilt has a strong hold on me.