love letter

Dear Father in Heaven,
I'm ready to give this burden to you.
I'm not perfect so I will fail at this everyday from now on, but I'm ready to believe this- that "You are the one who put me together inside my mother's body, and I praise you because of the wonderful way you created me.  Everything you do is marvelous!"  (Psalm 139: 13-14)


I'm tired of letting evil taking over my thoughts.  
"I'm not pretty enough." 
"I'm not skinny enough."
"If only I had been a dancer I could have legs like Jennifer Lopez."
"If only I had hair like Jennifer Aniston..."


I don't love being this weight.  I've never been this weight in my life.  It happened so quickly.  This is my biggest burden I give to you.  But, I promise I am working on it.  I'm not just laying around sulking, anymore.  I am trying.


Tonight I made a goal for a month from now.  Amy and I will compare then.  Thank you for putting Amy in my life.  


In a month if I am (this many) pounds, I will say one of two things- either, I tried really hard and I made it to my goal; or, I tried really hard and I'm proud of myself.  Why let Satan get the best of me?  You made me perfect.  It's up to me what I do with it.  I can beat myself down like I do, everyday.  Or, I can choose not to.  


I'm giving you this burden, and I'm asking for help.  I need your support through this next month.  I need you with me telling me I'm worth it. 


God, you're the only one who is with me all the time.  You're in my heart, I talk with you often, you're with me as I sit here on the couch typing this letter.  So, you're the perfect one to cheer me on.  You're the perfect cheerleader! 


I love you,
Jody